


Tides

by chandallure



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, heehee, secret: h/c is my fav genre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 06:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12030162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chandallure/pseuds/chandallure
Summary: UPDATE 9/28/17: In light of new information from the update, it's probably best to read this like an AU, or maybe like one of Julian's own dreams! Or however you want to, because it sure ain't canon. Thanks for reading anyway!





	Tides

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE 9/28/17: In light of new information from the update, it's probably best to read this like an AU, or maybe like one of Julian's own dreams! Or however you want to, because it sure ain't canon. Thanks for reading anyway!

"Did you know that there’s always more mischief under a full moon?”

“Is that science,” Julian’s eyes flick briefly up from his papers, “or superstition?”

“Call it… intuition,” Asra smiles. “That’s usually a little of both.”

“Hah.”

Moonlight streams through the stained glass window above Julian’s study, draping a shroud of gold and violet across his shoulders. Asra plops down on the side of his desk, sifting through some loose parchment.

Overhead, the dim library looms quiet, dust drifting through the stuffy, book-scented air.

“Do you think you aren’t affected by it, Ilya?” Asra teases, his smile behind the papers where Julian can’t see. “The moon. Magic.”

“Affected in what sense?”

“Every sense.”

Asra raises a hand. The light filtering through the stained glass seems to bend around his shadow, changing from blue to green where it’s cast. Julian looks on, mesmerized.

“You’re just looking for excuses to show off.” Julian’s eye darts away quickly as he regains himself. “Don’t lie.”

Giggling, Asra lowers the papers in his hands to look at them more clearly. He squints. Julian returns to his writing.

“Your handwriting,” Asra narrows his eyes at a particularly messy page. Chicken scratch, far as he can tell. “How can anyone read this?”

“I’m the only one who needs to.”

“Hmm… it’s your very own cross-me-not charm, if you think about it,” Asra chuckles. “No one can uncover your secrets if they’re dressed this way.”

“Lucky me.”

Lifting his eyes from the page, Asra steals a glance at Julian. He’s hunched so far over his desk he just might collapse onto it; the bones in his shoulders, his face, at his collar, the way they ache must be so sharp. Just looking, Asra feels heavier, somehow.

“It’s getting late.” Asra raises his eyebrows slightly. “You should sleep instead of brooding.”

“I’m not- I’m not ‘brooding’,” Julian replies, frowning sourly and setting down his quill. “I’m perfectly fine.”

Wordlessly, Asra laces his fingers between Julian’s. They tremble under the weight of a scalpel that isn’t there.

“Just the caffeine,” Julian mumbles and bows his head, lowering it to Asra’s side. His shoulders go slack as Asra weaves fingers tenderly through his hair. “Don’t worry.”

“I know better, Ilya," Asra murmurs, “you don’t have to lie.”

“Caught red-handed,” breathless, almost a wheeze. Julian closes his eye. “A little… too red-handed, maybe…” He forces out a croaking laugh at his own joke. “Who am I kidding? We aren’t getting anywhere, Asra. Every day, it’s the same damn pitfalls and questions, the same routine, the same results.” He sighs shakily. “The same blood and body counts… why are we here? Why are we doing this? Don’t you ever just, I don’t know,” he looks up at Asra almost pleadingly, “don’t you want to give up? Do you ever feel that way? Is it so wrong?”

A halo of gold rests on Asra’s white locks, shining down from above and glimmering in every curl. Julian’s fingers grasp at the fabric of Asra’s shawl as their eyes meet under the imposing mahogany bookshelves, under the light, under the moon. Calmly, Asra smiles, his skin and his lavender eyes so radiant, so gentle.

“Yes,” he says plainly, “I do. I feel that way so often that I almost… I lose myself in those thoughts. I wonder if we can ever really finish the impossible tasks set before us. I retreat. I hide… just as any other person would, with such a burden on their shoulders. But…”

Around them both, the mosaic of gleaming colors changes, shifts. It glows softer, fading from purple and red and blue and gold to silver, washing their silhouettes in pure starlight.

“Even so, my hope and my fear… they move in tides, in tandem with each other. I’m afraid because I care - I care about saving the lives of as many people as we can. And because I care, I have hope. It may be small… some days, it just barely flickers.” He runs a hand through Julian’s hair and down the side of his face. “But it is there. And it pushes me ashore when my fear cannot.

“But do you know, Julian,” his voice quiets, “what I think of when I can’t carry on? When my mind is only stormy seas?”

“What?”

Cupping both sides of Julian’s face, Asra smiles, planting a kiss on his forehead. “You.”

“Oh, I just knew you would say that,” Julian’s voice cracks, betraying him at last. “I knew it, and still,” he sobs, laughing, shoulders shaking, “still…”

His arms wrap tight around Asra’s torso and he squeezes, his embrace a prayer. Asra laughs softly, holding the back of his head with a gentle palm.

“We’ll wether it all together, then,” Julian manages, “won’t we?”

“Yes,” Asra whispers, “always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know I just posted another fic, but this one's been in the oven for about a week now and I'm impatient. So here you go!
> 
> I'm sure both of them have days where they want to give up on curing the plague. It's likely I'll need to edit some stuff about their overall circumstances as more backstory is revealed, but I am nothing if not impulsive and passionate. 
> 
> My mood setup for this one was... shoot, I'm on my phone right now, so I don't have it. I'll update this later.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
